You are currently browsing the category archive for the ‘Just Fucking Crap’ category.
Aboard the Battlestar Steven Francis Murphy BSG-71
Location: CIC
Mission: Damage Control and Assessment
I’m running on three hours of sleep after learning that my father is back in the hospital last night. He is having heart trouble, trouble breathing, etc, etc. So that was part of my evening last night on the eleven month anniversary of Trinity and I. Mom’s down with illness as well and I’m having a bitch of a time finding the time and energy to get enough lecture material scraped together for Western Civ.
The problem isn’t knowledge or material. That I have plenty of. No, I just need the time to write the lectures into something useable so I don’t stand there in class and babble on like an idiot. I call those lectures Falling Down the Stairs Lectures. I used to give a lot of them during my first two years of teaching and it is a horrible experience that ranks right up there with a dream where one is naked in public yet no one notices.
In other words, I hate not being fully prepared.
Worse, I hate not getting at least four hours of sleep. It is a wonder I didn’t stand there in class and drool all over myself. As it is, my military bearing and two years of experience allowed me to slug my way through both lectures this morning. I wouldn’t say it was a cheerful experience but my 0800 students seem to know that crossing me is unwise.
Apparently tales that I threw someone out at 0830 for tardiness have gotten ’round the campus (though they are somewhat inaccurate, the general gist is true). My 0930 class is a bit more spirited but that isn’t a bad thing. Some of them will get a wake up call here in a couple of weeks.
Of course the other problem is that running on three hours of sleep makes doing physical fitness training problematic. It is a great way to injury yourself and for those that aren’t following John Birmingham’s blog, be advised that he snapped his ulna in martial arts last week (probably not due to fatigue). I’ve already got some problem spots, notably along the upper right arm near the tricep, some elbow and some shoulder trouble. I don’t need to blow something out when I have a 145 pound stack of weights over my chest because I wasn’t focused.
On the other hand, I was able to get the iPods operational using a campus computer to download iTunes. The iPods are both synced and prepped. I didn’t load any music onto Trinity’s iPod as I only had one of my CDs with me. I’ll try to reload iTunes on my laptop and see if that will work. If that doesn’t work, I’ll load a few songs onto Trinity’s iPod on campus while she is at an extra credit lecture.
As for Dad, well, he’s terminal, kids. We’re all terminal but he is closer to it than most of us are. Estimates range from tomorrow to a year from now. That said, Aunt Margaret said over at my facebook that we Murphys tend to be a stubborn lot (all those bad genetics I guess). He may well outlast all of us, beat the lung cancer and come in under the five percent statistic on remission/cures.
Makes you wonder how long he’d live if he hadn’t gotten Agent Orange related crap.
YouTubeage Action: James Bond OSTs to listen to while writing
When I write some action scenes, I tend to draw upon movie sound tracks, notably those by John Barry but he is not the only one. Here are a couple of my favorites.
This is called “Space March” and it is from the You Only Live Twice soundtrack. It matches the opening scene where an American space capsule is captured by a mystery spacecraft. The scene, if you haven’t seen it, is akin to watching a snake unlock its’ jaw to consume its’ prey, slow but inevitable. The Americans, of course, blame the Russians for the incident, which gets the movie going.
In a similar vein is “007 and Counting” which is matched to the video you see now. A rocket is hijacked by our bad guys in Diamonds Are Forever. It happens to be carrying a diamond augmented laser satellite and you can see where this is going.
So it goes, kids. Repair operations continue. I’ve got to pick Trinity up later from her therapy where she is trying to get her ship back to 100% or at least as close to it as she can.
Respects,
Steven Francis Murphy
Author of The Limb Knitter and Tearing Down Tuesday
North Kansas City, Missouri
The Writing Front: Tracking the Stories
Apparently over the summer I had three stories out.
I think.
I sent Maternal Soldier out in June apparently. For some reason I got this cross wired with Healing Hands of the Killer. Since I thought HHK was still at the June target market, I sent Maternal Soldier back out (engaging in unintentional simo submission which is bad juju in the field).
Maternal Soldier came back from the second market, Andromeda Spaceways, last week. That is the reject I blogged about. But at the June market I did learn, though I have not received the official reject, that Maternal Soldier was a great story, but didn’t fit the market guidelines.
So, two rejects for Maternal Soldier this week. Great story, everyone tells me. I just can’t sell it.
In the meantime I figured out that Healing Hands of the Killer never went anywhere, near as I can tell. I think.
Conversely, the other story which went to the same market as Maternal Soldier was Entangled. I didn’t even think I sent that story out but apparently, according to the editor who brought me up to speed on MS, I did.
Confused? You sure the fuck aren’t the only one. I’m confused and more than a little pissed the fuck off.
Why? Well, once upon a time, back in the Dark Ages of the Uniguard Era, all stories were methodically tracked, logged, annotated, followed, followed up upon, and the like. I knew where they were, I knew which one I sent out, I knew everything except whether or not they’d sell. Now, in the wonderful Golden Age of Adjunctland, I can’t seem to keep track of any of my stories.
Fuck! I can’t even get a new story written, let alone keep track of the old ones. About the only project which was relatively regimented was Research Project Number – 04, and even by previous standards of RPN-02 and 03, the regimentation was sloppy by comparison.
What happened? Teaching happened for one thing but that isn’t the only source of trouble. I’ve got multiple fronts of chaos and aggravation ongoing (which I make it a point not to EVER BLOG ABOUT). I’ve got demands on my time which far outstrip my ability to meet them and there are consequences for not at least attempting to meet those demands.
And it has gotten so bad that I don’t know where my stories are at. I had to have an Editor clarify my own submissions for me! An Editor I have a great deal of respect for, I might add.
This, my friends, is going to change. Oh yes. This will not continue as is.
The good news? Well, I have two bits.
First, Entangled is still under consideration. I wouldn’t hold your breath, kids. Then again I said that about The Limb Knitter and it sold so maybe I should follow Gardner Dozois advice about writers being the worst judge of their own work.
Second, I did receive a message from another editor who is interested in taking a gander at Maternal Soldier. No promises of course.
So, it isn’t all bad.
Lecture prep continues otherwise. Since those entries bore the piss out of everyone, I won’t hammer out what I did today.
Respects,
Steven Francis Murphy
Author of The Limb Knitter and Tearing Down Tuesday
North Kansas City, Missouri
We’re still settling in so this is a quick note from Panera’s to say that the movement took place earlier than scheduled. Trinity and I have moved in (no thanks to a fucking worthless shitbag of an older son who may be in the Marine Corps but is no fucking Marine in my book and for those wondering this Infantryman will cheerfully say it to his face PERSONALLY if he likes).
I know plenty of Marines and we do engage in the usual interservice rivalry but this particular Marine seems to get his rocks off treating his mother like shit. And he is hiding behind his combat deployment to justify being a drunken, surly little shit.
Anyway, any other Marine who is reading this blog, if you’d like to adjust this asshole’s headspace and timing, drop me a message. I’ll cheerfully give you his name, unit and commanding officer.
Which, folks, should be a sign of just how pissed off I am. I’m not mad about the failure to help. No, I’m mad about the complete lack of respect.
In fact, we moved in with zero help.
Frankly, Trinity is more bothered by it than I am. My life has always been configured for movement sans assistance. The only piece of furniture which gave me pause was a love seat but I was able to shift it on my own without any help. Trinity’s bum shoulder prevents any work of that type. But she helped with 90% of the gear that could be moved with one hand.
We’re quite a team.
And this entry is a bit longer than I planned. She is still at the Pod working over the laundry. I had to check e-mail to see if anything came in from the Client or if there were any last minute end of semester issues (there is on the later).
I suspect before too long the chapters will flow in hot and heavy from the Client. I am used to handling five chapters or more when there is nothing else distracting me. By Wednesday Trinity will be in her new job on campus so I’ll have time to get the work done.
So it goes.
Respects,
Steven Francis Murphy
Author of The Limb Knitter and Tearing Down Tuesday
The Limb Knitter-Part Two is available at the Beam Me Up Podcast hosted by Paul Cole.
The Teaching Front
One final cleared, one more to go. Student performance was pretty much nominal to what I have experienced in the past. The take home final was far easier to grade in many ways. Personally, I’m inclined to give that some thought for the future. We’ll see.
My last final is tomorrow. They should do well enough.
Nothing is likely for the summer aside from substitute work. This is actually a blessing in disguise as I am only eligible for 24 course hours per academic year. The summer class would count against me. Substitute work would not.
As for Fall, all I know is that the intent is to bring me back this Fall. The schedule is always subject to change in any case and the ongoing economic downturn isn’t helping things. I’ve got feelers out at one of our sister campuses where I taught last fall. I suspect, if the class makes, that I stand a fairly good chance of picking that one up.
I need six hours to remain economically viable. Nine is optimal while twelve would be cake.
We’ll see. I also need to get to one of our other sister campuses where a Western Civ opportunity may be available for 2010.
The Student Front
I scraped out of Computers in Design One with a C for the semester. Now here is irony for you. I have taken the class before and earned a B. Given what I know of grading policy, the stronger grade will remain on the transcript. Thing is, I learned more in the class I took this semester (given that I only devoted a sliver of my time and attention to it) than I did back in 2005. I also have a stronger portfolio as a result. All of my assignments, when turned in on time, earned an A.
That said, I think what I need, if I am going to get anywhere on the graphic design front, is a dedicated Mac computer and the Adobe Programs for the course. Getting stuck in the lab isn’t helping me one bit.
On Terri’s front for American Lit II, the plan is to write four pages today and another four tomorrow. I’ll proof them, polish a bit and turn in the paper. Frankly, it is appalling that I have let this go as long as I did.
Fencing final is tonight as well, which for advanced students means we just show up and go out for a bite to eat. I missed the last three Tuesdays due to teaching and other issues.
I’m looking forward to a summer away from the student front. For Fall I have signed up for Terri’s Online Creative Writing Class (I need to keep myself in the writing saddle) and three phys ed classes designed to make sure I stay in the gym.
We’ll see how that goes.
Research Project Number – 04
I have four chapters in the hopper requiring my attention.
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 22
I’ve read over Chapters 21 and 22 (21 is slated for someone else to work on). For 22 I’ve got some ideas. In fact, since 16, 17, and 22 are all related chapters in the same story thread, it actually works out better this way.
I also have some research to do on a certain class of technology and prep a hardcopy for a second review. I will be looking at timeline issues and overall story structure.
So it goes.
Trinity Front
Trinity is still dealing with physical therapy, she has an appointment today to work on the left gun. The good news is that she still has health care. Apparently there was some sort of paperwork error and she was dropped by accident. That doesn’t condone some of the other behavior her family exhibits towards her but it goes some ways towards easing my temper.
Her new job will start next week on campus. I think she’ll be happy enough with the new position, which will keep her in good order until classes start for the pre-law program this Fall. She’ll be going to my old alma mater at UMKC so I’ll be sure to introduce her to The Gender Studies Professor (aka The Captain) and some other folks.
Knowing how Trinity is, she’ll make her own friends. Just ask Birmo about that.
In fact, here is one thing I like about Trinity. When we were in NYC with Birmo, Trinity would talk to Birmo about all sorts of things not related to the novels. At the end of the day, as I sat listening to those conversations with my good ear (as my sinuses were exploding within my skull) I felt like I had a better experience.
These days I find I let Trinity take the lead when it comes to conversation while I sit back and listen. As a writer, listening is what I should be doing anyway.
We also took care of a late fee issue which was holding up the works at UMKC. She already has her financial aid so she is in the pipeline.
The Pod Update
By Pod, I mean “The Pleasure Pod” aka the new home. I got a landline and power set up for the move in date.
We will be emptying the storage locker first using a U-Haul. That will probably take most of Friday. Sometime during the following week, I’ll move most of the heavy gear out of Maternal Support Command, to include the reserve computer, my books, her chest of drawers, two desks and so on and so forth. Clothing, blankets and additional gear will follow.
Then I’ll need to make a run to campus to clear out my cubicle. Chances are probable that I will be back but many of the things which are in my cubicle are there because A: I needed them to teach and B: because there was no place at MSC to put them. Once we’re in the Pod, B will go away.
We should be fully moved in by the middle of next week at the latest.
Other Fronts
Well, at some point I should get back into the fiction writing saddle. Trinity tells me that The Limb Knitter needs novel length treatment. Frankly, both TLK and TDT need novel length treatment. Still, I’m not sure which direction I’ll head. I’ll think on it once the semester is well and truly over.
Actually, what I may do is just spend a few days doing nothing but reading.
Respects,
Steven Francis Murphy
Author of The Limb Knitter and Tearing Down Tuesday
The Limb Knitter-Part One is now available at the Beam Me Up Podcast with host Paul Cole.
Aboard the Battlestar Steven Francis Murphy BSG-71
Location: In the Field
Mission One: Complete grading.
Mission Two: RPN-04.
Mission Three: Prep for final departure from Maternal Support Command
Missouri Four: Deal with ongoing crisis
When the people you love are hurt by their family
You know, it is a violation of a number of rules Trinity and I have set up about our relationship but I am going to do this anyway. I happen to know that her family members drop by here and I want them, and the rest of you, to know what I think.
The current crisis, which is now in the eight month, started as the result of a physical threat issued by one of her daughters against Trinity. I will not get into all of the details, but I do want this on the record.
No child has the right EVER to threaten the use of physical violence against their parent without just cause. And for those wondering, just cause in my book is that the parent is about to kill you or is going to cause bodily injury to someone you care about.
In all of my conflicts with my own parents, I have almost never resorted to this tactic. I know for a fact that I have never done this to my own mother and I also know that among many veterans and and currently serving members of the armed forces, such behavior is reprehensible in the extreme.
And yet, in a veteran heavy family, Trinity puts up with such shit on a regular basis.
The latest? Today she lost her health care coverage. Even better still is the list of bills that they have run up in her name. If anyone has read He Died with a Felafel in His Hand just imagine that instead of the people being your room mates in a share house, it is your own family.
Granted, they aren’t all bad. But most of them are. They treat her with complete and total lack of respect, they are abusive in the extreme and irresponsible.
They seem to get their rocks off on hurting the woman I love. And for now, boys and girls, they’ve got the upper hand on some fronts. I simply do not have the fiscal resources to cover all of the things which need coverage.
But I will grant you this. I do have the resources, the means and most important of all, the fucking willpower, to give Trinity the support she needs until she gets back up off the mat.
They’ve done one other thing they never should have done.
They’ve pissed me completely the fuck off. Which is fair enough. I am a very patient man.
Mea Culpas to my own mother
On my own front, sometimes I fall down on the job. Or I just plain miss the cues for dealing with the pople I love in my own life. My own mother, I think, had expectations for me yesterday.
I never know quite how to handle the special days. I’ve tried a number of things over the years. The Big Gift. The card. The dinner out. The treat the day as any other.
My own mother means a great deal to me and it always bothers me when she is hurt by anything I might have done, or failed to do. She has been there in my corner, supportive, standing alongside me as I struggled with one problem or another. She is the one who sent care packs to me during my time in the Persian Gulf and Korea. She is the one who called the Pentagon when a Sergeant in the Army was saying we would be extended for two years after we received mandatory retraining.
She said to one Sergeant before the Gulf War, “My son had better come back in one piece or I’m going to find you and stick a frag up your ass.”
She meant it.
My mom is the reason I am a published science fiction writer. Just this last Saturday night as we sat listening to Part One of The Limb Knitter at the Beam Me Up Podcast, she remarked on how much she liked that story.
Mom taught me a lot. Sometimes I just let her down.
SFSignal Blurbs Beam Me Up Podcast and The Limb Knitter
Just as the header says, the folks at SFSignal have blurbed my appearance in Paul Cole’s Beam Me Up Podcast. Tip of the hat to those folks. Much appreciated.
The Limb Knitter starts about thirty minutes into the podcast after the news and another short piece called Nemesis. I heartily recommend listening to the entire podcast for all of the sci-fi goodness.
Part Two of The Limb Knitter will broadcast next Saturday.
Research Project Number – 04
Well, I plan on creating a project binder for RPN – 04 this week. I review material better when it is in hard copy. By Wednesday, my time will open up completely.
I’ve sent three of the five chapters back though I should have tied 16 in with some continuity work for 17. I’ve also received Chapters 21/22 but someone else with specific expertise is working on that project.
I think that is a good thing, I might add. My knowledge only runs to certain areas and after that it starts to peter out. In this case, it is knowledge of a locale which I have not traveled to. However, I know the member of the Circle of Trust who is working on this and I suspect they’ll do a good job.
The Teaching Front
Today is the final for the eight week class. Here in a bit I’ll grade up the last of their papers and start logging grades. In fact, I’ll probably be logging grades on my laptop during the finals session. They will be turning in a take home final which covers Civil Rights and the Cold War.
I don’t know that I am expecting much out of this group. Those that perform well will continue to do so. Those that haven’t performed well probably will not improve at all.
Or they’ll get worse. I’ll have a lot of failing grades with this batch, I suspect.
On Wednesday I dole out the final to my 16 week morning class. I’m not sure what I’ll get out of my remaining twenty-six plus students. I started with thirty-nine for those that are wondering.
Yes, I weeded them down.
I did grade everyone’s extra credit over the weekend. They were to visit the Downtown KC Library during a session of Meet the Past (blogged about previously by myself and Trinity). For the most part, they performed tolerably.
After grades are punched in on Wednesday, I’m pretty much done for the semester. I won’t have any teaching, I suspect, until the Fall. There may be a substitute opportunity or two, but that’s about it.
The Student Front
I’ve got to get Terri Lowry’s paper done. It is looming over me, late and half assed. I’ve got no one to blame but myself and I should never have let this happen. It isn’t fair to Terri and it sets a shitty example to my students.
From my experiences both as a teacher and a student, I have learned that I need to reevaluate my own expectations in terms of how much writing I dole out in my own classes. Terri’s load is more than reasonable.
But I should be doing better. There is no excuse.
Battle Group Movement Imminent
Trinity and I will be moving on Friday morning. She continued to pick up gear and supplies needed for the Transition (nice WoC plug there) to The Pod. My mom packed a fair amount of my own gear to include a surplus of towels and blankets.
We’re looking forward to it.
And on that note, I have some grading to do.
Respects,
Steven Francis Murphy
Author of The Limb Knitter and Tearing Down Tuesday
The Limb Knitter-Part One, is now available at the Beam Me Up Podcast by Paul Cole. Check it out.
I should have some content but I don’t. The Chapter 15 situation was rectified and I finished Civil Rights this morning (thank God). I started Fall course prep, had a glass of Australian Riesling (Wolf Bass I think) and now I’m waiting on Trinity so we can pay the first dose of rent, get in a hot tub soak and see the new Wolverine film at the Screenland theater on Armour Road.
So it goes.
Something intelligible tomorrow mayhaps?
Respects,
Steven Francis Murphy
Author of The Limb Knitter and Tearing Down Tuesday
Those that done said stuff