From the Chief Bottlewasher of The Pondering Tree, have a great Turkey Day. Be sure to clean the vomitorium when you are done with it.
Respects,
Steven Francis Murphy
Author of The Limb Knitter and Tearing Down Tuesday
North Kansas City, Missouri
The Teaching Front
Tests deployed: Five
Tests recovered: Five
Tests graded: Three
Tests recorded: Three
That leaves two to grade, record and clear off my deck for the Turkey Day Weekend. If I push hard enough I can get that out of my hair providing me with some time to do these things.
1. Finish crits in Terri’s class.
2. Write a lecture on Feudalism.
3. Write a lecture on the Black Death.
4. Get to the gym.
5. Get some creative writing work done.
Then of course there is Turkey Day itself. Trinity and I have been invited to Sunset for the family feed out there. We’re looking forward to it.
So it goes.
Respects,
Steven Francis Murphy
Author of The Limb Knitter and Tearing Down Tuesday
North Kansas City, Missouri
I’m not all there.
No, seriously, that isn’t an Admiral Stockdale gaffe, I really am not all there, or here.
In fact, I am in many places. True, not physically. Just as the quote goes, “No matter where you go, there you are.” I know that at this very moment I am physically sitting in Panera Bread with my laptop in front of me, a small iced tea to the right and one of my textbooks to the left. I’m facing west toward the skywalk which connects Crown Center to the Hyatt and of course there are kids here which reminds me yet again that I need to purchase that set of Bose Noise Cancelling Headphones.
But my mind?
I’ve tried to explain this to people before and the responses are never positive. Usually there is some snide crack about one’s sanity. Right now, here is where my mind is at.
Part of my mind is listening to the YouTube track which features instrumental music from James Bond’s You Only Live Twice. I find that this calms me down a bit and allows me to focus just a notch better than normally.
Another part of my mind is wrestling with the Third Exam for my Western Civ class. I’ve got the textbook for that class to my left as I type this entry.
A third part of my mind is constantly trying to reorganize and sort the workload for eighteen hours of college courses. It isn’t easy since I didn’t start with half of this load and I have to ramp up to deal with it at the last minute.
A fourth part of my mind is off with my characters and the worlds I’ve created as a fiction writer though these days it is a regrettably small part of my mind.
A fifth part of my mind is wondering about the various relationships I am in ranging from my relationship with Trinity to that of my peers, family and such. Who is upset? Who is happy? What is working and what isn’t.
A sixth part of my mind is thinking about the last two lectures I’ll give in Western Civilization, notably on Feudal States and the Black Death.
A seventh is thinking about Terri’s Creative Writing Class.
An eighth part is thinking about Research Project Number – 04, a smaller part than I’d like on that score as well.
A ninth part is thinking about my future as a historian and how to improve my marketability so I can turn this adjunct thing into a full time gig.
Frequently when there is much on my mind I hear the comment, “You are emotionally distant,” or “I feel like you aren’t here.”
The thing is, I am THERE. I hear everything that is said to me. I process everything that is said to me. I have a level of empathy for everything that is said to me. Empathy is part in parcel of being both a good writer AND a good instructor. I identify with people more often than they realize, especially when I happen to disagree with them.
I guess the question to ponder then is this.
Regardless of my workload, heavy or light, my brain is always multiplexed like this. Even when I am focused on a specific task, my brain is still cogitating on the other issues, perhaps split into more than just nine parts. Which I suspect means that sometimes I seem like I am not emotionally available or there.
I’ve always been like this. I think it is one of the things that give me a knack for writing and teaching.
I also know this.
I am not going to change.
The Teaching Front
As I said, I’m writing exams this afternoon. Right now I have the Western Civilization exam on deck. The exams for all American History 120 classes, be they mine or my peers, are also in progress. I need to have all three ready for the copy center tomorrow. I also have an American History 121 exam to prep for my eight week class.
Since my 120s are in roughly the same place on the Timeline, I shouldn’t have too much trouble. Granted, I have to create variants of the test in order to prevent cheating (no, I won’t describe how I do this).
For the Winter Semester, I’m slated for three classes so far with the possibility of a fourth class. I’m hoping I get the fourth one as it would help on the money front. I want to get enough rent socked away for the upcoming Summer Gap.
The Student Front
Thanks to Trinity I was able to use most of yesterday to get caught up in terms of actual prose written for Creative Writing. I am still behind on critique comments but I think I can pick that up here in the next few days while I proctor my own tests in various classes. I’ll just print the stuff off and take it with me.
My karate class fell by the wayside weeks ago due to the workload and now it would be completely infeasible to continue. I’m in serious trouble in my Physical Fitness course (which simply requires me to workout at least 20 hours this semester to pass it and I have logged only ten hours). My Body Building class is stable enough but I have to get back with it before it blows up in my face.
In other words, I’ve got a mess on my hands if I don’t get with it.
I plan on taking Terri’s class again in the hopes that I will have more time to focus on it next semester. I will sign up for Body Building again and I think I’ll take CPR/AED which is two credit hours. I need to recertify and it will help if I go for lifeguard certification.
Additional Development Plans
I’ve got a list of things I mean to do over the Winter Break.
First, I want to get in for swimming lessons at Northtown as a prelude to becoming lifeguard certified. By Academic Year 2010/2011 I want to be working part time at the campus pool in order to ease some of the periodic income issues which come up as a result of living in Adjunctland.
Second, I want to get certified for Concealed Carry. No, I’m not planning on carrying a gun on a regular basis. I’m more interested as a writer in this training and as a way to ease back into regular contact with firearms.
Third, I’d like to sign up for a motorcycle riding course with an eye toward getting a license. Again, this is more for the writer than it is for actual use.
Other Fronts
I’m tired and ready for the semester to end. I’m hoping I might get a look at the revisions for RPN-04 over Turkey Day or perhaps before the end of the month.
So it goes.
Respects,
Steven Francis Murphy
Author of The Limb Knitter, soon to be republished in the Apex Book Company Anthnology Descended from Darkness: Apex Magazine Volume One.
North Kansas City, Missouri
The Writing Front
I’m slowly getting caught up in Terri Lowry’s Creative Writing course. I skipped out of the Pod early this morning to try and get some writing done. So far I’ve managed to hack out six pages of material for two different projects. One of them is a non-fiction essay which talks about ideal writing spaces. The other is a bit of science fiction which may or may not have potential. I’m not sure. I’ve almost got enough material for my portfolio so that is good.
Now I could just find something which I had never submitted to Terri’s class and submit that. I have plenty of that type of material but it seems to me that the purpose is to workshop fresh material written this semester, not some third rate drivel I wrote five years ago.
I do not hold high hopes for having anything that is actually submission ready this semester. There are endless demands on my time which suck the oxygen out of my creative spirit. I’m starting to think that my Muse got murdered and dumped into a ditch somewhere.
The Ideas are there. The Characters are there. The Worlds I created are there.
But the Energy?
Anyway, I’ll probably sign up for Terri’s class again next semester. Maybe if I am not focused on writing lecture notes for two classes I’ll be able to get something productive done.
The Teaching Front
I spent most of yesterday on test prep, either writing tests or talking to students about their essays. I am starting to think I may issue more take home finals this semester. I hate doing this as it gives the worst of my students every opportunity to plagarize, engage in shoddy work, copy off of each other, send files to me in the wrong format, etc. Then they sit there and play stupid with me when they do it.
Granted, most students do not pull this crap, but enough do to prompt me to believe that the in class essay is better.
Social Front
There is a free shindig going on over at the Northtown Community center with free goodies and access to the swimming area. I think I’ll head back that way to take Trinity to it (it is her idea, if anyone is wondering).
Tonight we’ll hit the local Relaxacon SF convention where I have free passes. I think I’ll have a beer while Trinity watches the Viva Los Vegas crowd do their thing.
Other Fronts
The ZX-2 is making some kind of thumping noise when I drive which comes from the passenger side front tire. Knowing my luck it is probably something which will suck down every extra dime I have earned over the last month. I hate pouring a thousand dollars a pop into a vehicle, especially a car I deeply hate and would love to send off a cliff.
So it goes.
Respects,
Steven Francis Murphy
Author of The Limb Knitter, soon to be republished in the Apex Book Company Anthnology Descended from Darkness: Apex Magazine Volume One.
North Kansas City, Missouri
I’m afraid there is not much pondering going on here at the Tree these days. Yours truly spends all of his time busy putting out fires, meeting with students and trying to organize a coherent and orderly end to the semester. In a previous entry I compared the doubled workload to trying to catch three freight trains which had catapulted themselves off the side of Mount Everest.
Chaotic, tiring and sometimes nerve racking. I’ve been trying to remember the last time I was this busy.
The best I can come up with are my memories of the four day ground offensive which brought the Persian Gulf War to a successful military conclusion for Coalition Forces. Perhaps another time would be the field exercises I participated in down at Fort Hood in 1992 with 1st ID’s Division Artillery. Maybe a distant third would be the day we suffered a major power outage at the Commerce Tower at 911 Main (which was also where the main dispatch and command center used to be).
Granted, I am not getting a lot of writing done, but I do find that I relish the challenge of trying to get things under control, making decisions on the fly and trying to make sure that I get things right.
Andrew Jackson once said, “I was made for the storm.”
I suspect that I was made for the cauldron.
Tonight Trinity and I will be dropping in on a local science fiction not-convention (a relaxacon as they call it) where, due to my status as a very small writer, I’ll get a free beer or two. It will be the only significant break I get before next week. Third quarter exams are going out on all fronts at least a week or two late but they are going out. I’m meeting with students throughout the day to talk to them about their essays.
This weekend will be spent trying to catch up on backlogged work.
I’m looking forward to putting this one in the record books and moving on. But somehow I think I’ll look back on the last few weeks of my life and see this as important, somehow shaping me.
Perhaps I’ll look back on it with the same strange fondness I reserve for my time in the Army.
Respects,
Steven Francis Murphy
Author of The Limb Knitter, soon to be republished in the Apex Book Company Anthnology Descended from Darkness: Apex Magazine Volume One.
North Kansas City, Missouri
And I saw a couple of floaters this morning, kids.
I got word this morning that a couple of people who had made Trinity’s life such a living nightmare suffered a bit of misfortune here recently. Given all the shit these people have caused, I thought I’d take a moment to enjoy their plight.
[Insert Mental Picture of Murphy Laughing his Ass Off Here]
Petty? Yeah, probably.
It seems these two people lost their car recently, repossessed it seems due to inability to pay.
Now, of course, if these two people had not been first class psychotic nightmares who liked to live on Planet Jerry Springer, maybe Trinity would still be living with them. Maybe she’d still be paying the rent there. Maybe come this month when the lease on their apartmetn needed to be renewed, Trinity would still be there and they would still have their car.
As it turns out, Trinity is living with me in a far nicer place and they are without a car because Trinity isn’t there to pay the rent.
An additional bit of relish this morning is this. One of the offenders had said this in response to my query about why they were unable to help Trinity get back and forth to work, school and the like.
“It’s not my fucking problem.”
Well, you know what they say. What comes around goes around, or words to that effect. These two nightmares wouldn’t provide Trinity with a ride when she needed it (which meant I often had to stay at this nasty place in order to give her rides myself). Now they are on foot patrol.
Hope they enjoy it. It is going to be a nasty winter.
Things which warm my heart. The only thing that might be a bit better would be to get word that these two had been evicted from the very apartment Trinity had to leave back in February of this year.
Maybe that will happen after Turkey Day.
Carry on. I have classes to teach, classes to take, disasters to prevent, clusterfucks to unfuck.
So it goes.
Respects,
Steven Francis Murphy
Author of The Limb Knitter, soon to be republished in the Apex Book Company Anthnology Descended from Darkness: Apex Magazine Volume One.
North Kansas City, Missouri
The Teaching Front
You know, I like to think I devote equal time to all of my classes. And perhaps when I am teaching only nine hours, perhaps I do just that. But in reality, just as with our college students, I find I have to manage my time.
For instance, I have been teaching American History 121 for nearly three years now. Many of the lectures are deeply ingrained into my synapses (a miracle if you ask me). While they need revision, polishing and tweaking, the fact of the matter is that they are good enough for the moment. So I spend less time on prep for lectures my American History 121 classes than I do in others.
My American History 120 lectures require a bit more effort. There are still significant gaps in the material which I am not personally satisfied with. In fact, it would be nice to have a semester to devote simply to revisions. For the record, it looks like I will get that next semester. This class requires more prep time as I enter the third quarter as that is where the gaps are at. Once I enter the Civil War, I can pretty much do it off the top of my head no sweat.
The Western Civ class, of course, is my pride and joy. This is what I trained for as a historian and it is what I have waited nearly ten years to teach. As a result, this course gets the bulk of my prep time and attention.
It got that right up until I had to catch three freight trains which had spun off the top of Mount Everest at the tail end of the semester.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m glad I can help out and I enjoy a challenge. I’ll get the job done as I manage the additional course load but I must admit that I will never be happy with the work I have done.
So I have to manage my resources and the time at my disposal. I also have to make sure that they get the education they paid for without pushing myself too far outside of my own physical limitations.
In other words, I feel like I could be doing a better job.
So it goes. A long night ahead of me as we move toward World War II in one of my classes.
Respects,
Steven Francis Murphy
Author of The Limb Knitter, soon to be republished in the Apex Book Company Anthnology Descended from Darkness: Apex Magazine Volume One.
North Kansas City, Missouri
Here is something I was pondering on the way to work this morning. It is something that was said to me over the last month.
I am going to paraphrase it but I believe I have the gist of it.
“An Angry Person Speaks the Truth in much the same way a Drunk Person Speaks a Sober Mind.”
You know, as I think on that line, I think more and more that this sort of attitude is why there is so much dysfunction in the human animal. I personally live with anger everyday. It is the fuel which drives my ambitions, it is the black bile which, if I don’t watch how I use it, can very well be my undoing. My Anger is something for which I have a deep and abiding sense of respect because I understand just how dangerous it can be.
And yet I do not fear it nor do I believe that people speak the truth when they are angry.
Moreover, what about everything that is said whenever people are NOT angry? Doesn’t that count for anything? What about the things which are said with a loving tone or out of concern? What about the issues which are expressed calmly and rationally?
It is perfectly possible for me to be angry and yet calm at the same time. It is possible for me to express my displeasure at something and yet do so in an even tone.
Why does a raised voice have to be the ONLY metric by which concern is measured?
This is what I’m pondering today as I prep to cover slavery in my first class and the Fall of the Roman Empire in another.
Discuss.
I do know this.
I think that I do not want to be around people who honestly, truly believe that the world is represented by the above quote.
Respects,
Steven Francis Murphy
North Kansas City, Missouri
Aboard the Battlestar Steven Francis Murphy BSG-71
Mission: Operational Planning and Course Maintenance
Location: Combat Information Center
The Teaching Front
After the initial panic induced hysteria which was the result of seeing my teaching load double from nine to eighteen hours, I am starting to settle back into the groove. The additional courses are starting to get with the program, albeit with some hiccups in my MWF 0800 class which seems to have some folks that arrive late no matter how many times they have been told to get there before 0800.
I’ve been busy with the paperwork required to run the courses, namely study guide generation, creating dedicated course binders since the courses are on different places of the historical timeline in relation to my own, and getting my own original courses squared away.
Most of this weekend was spent focusing on the end of the third quarter for Western Civilization, namely the Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire. I know, Gibbon already did that better than I could but no one is going to read Gibbon until grad school if they ever get there so I have to cover it.
There are other things but of course, I can’t really talk about them.
It looks like I’ll arrive at the end of World War II and the Atomic Bomb in all of my American History Two classes. In my American History One classes I should reach the Civil War, one way or the other.
In my Western Civ I find that I have only two lecture days left before the final, which puts me in a pretty pickle. I suspect I will issue a take home final for that class covering the Middle Ages. I will probably tie that with some sort of quiz on the Final.
So it goes.
Per next semester it looks like there will be changes to the load there as well. I may get another class but that is all subject to change at the last minute. Personally, I’m hoping for the maximum load as that will ease up things on the fiscal end and perhaps buy some breathing room with regard to the summer job.
That said, in relation to that, I think I found a decent candidate for a part time position right across the street from the Pod. I’ll put in for that here in the next week or so.
The Writing Front: The Tinkerin’ Woman
I’ve got a page count to make in Terri’s class so I began writing what I think will be the last scene to The Tinkerin’ Woman last night. Maybe I’ll work my way backwards from there and leave the gap in the middle covered with “And here a miracle occurs.”
Five hundred words of fiction last night.
Trinity is down with the sickness
Trinity is not well and stayed at home today (only after I belabored the point repeatedly that it was better to miss a day than to miss the rest of the semester and get me sick too).
So she is at home taking it easy.
Least I’m pretty sure she is at home.
So it goes, kids.
Respects,
Steven Francis Murphy
Author of The Limb Knitter, soon to be republished in the Apex Book Company Anthnology Descended from Darkness: Apex Magazine Volume One.
North Kansas City, Missouri
This is where I am working right now.
This is what I can see out of my window.
This is where I live and I wish I had the weather in this shot today.
This is the stack of work I am dealing with. Believe it or not, I am getting it under control.
It is not quite so messy in my cubicle since Friday afternoon.
And this is my current Pod workspace. We’ll be upgrading and switching things up once the semester ends.
So it goes. I finished up the Fall of Rome lecture and I started on the Third Quarter study guide. Once I get study guides and tests prepped for the rest of my classes, it will be a matter of running to the finish line. In Western Civ we’re going to switch to focal point lectures, which I can do without too much trouble. In my other classes, we’ll just continue to march on as before, whether they are my troops or my peers. One way or the other we’ll get there.
And here is a bit of irony. Trinity and I got iPod nanos for each other last August and we’re pretty happy with them.
The new iPod nanos, however, have FM radios and a video cam. Argh. For fifty bucks more we can get an iTouch.
Sigh.
Respects,
Steven Francis Murphy
Author of The Limb Knitter, soon to appear in the new anthology, Descended from Darkness: Apex Magazine Volume One.
North Kansas City, Missouri
Those that done said stuff